The Billy Mays Conspiracy Uncovered

Boy [to classmate]: It's like a Sham-Wow. But without the wow. So it's just a sham!

- Chemistry class

I Wish I Had This Power Over People

irritated schoolgirl: Ughh, everyday Susan* kills another part of my mind.

*name changed for protection

Conceited Divas

indifferent blonde to friend: I'm sorry. I'm probably not paying attention, I'm so self-absorbed.